Y'all might have noticed I haven't done much in over a month. There are lots of reasons for this but the big one is, a few days ago I became very ill.

A very bad cough, shortness of breath, dangerously elevated heart rate, general aches and pains all over the body, excess sweating, all of my sinuses are backed up and I'm shaking a lot too...

Turns out I have a serious infection in my lungs and this same exact type of infection has sent me to the E.R before.

My doc has given me meds but despite that each passing day I'm struggling more to breath.

All day long today I've been, coughing violently, dizzy and light headed, my heart has been racing so badly I can feel my heart beat pulsing in my fucking toes, I'm shaking, and all the heavy breathing I'm doing to try and compensate has caused me to hyperventilate a few times, which if you don't know makes your body all numb and tingly from all the excess carbon that gets into the blood....

I haven't been able to do anything all day long because it's taking everything I have right now JUST TO SIT IN THIS CHAIR, BREATH AND TRY NOT TO PASS OUT.... plus all the asthma meds I have to take to keep this problem from getting worse with an asthma attack, has got my heart racing even more.

With my condition getting worse at this rate and seeing as how I'm already in a state where I can't do anything right now, I can't see how it could be possible for me keep up with my job, my classes, my art and to have a social life too.... so I'm making this post to let you all know that I'm not just doing nothing out of laziness and ya'll might not see me around or hear from me a lot in the next few months as I try to recover from this...... hell I'll probably just lay in bed all day tomorrow.

It is kinda serious and I am in a lot of pain and discomfort right now but I don't want any of you to worry leave that to me, odds are I'll be fine if I just relax and take my meds

btw moral of the story..... if you smoke.... even if you quit like I did... be ready to have shit like this happen to you when you're older

TLDR: I am very very ill, so much so that I'll likely be mostly stuck in bed for the next few months as I recover

if anyone has questions or comments feel free to speak up

Thank you for your time

-Apathy And Agony